Thursday, December 9, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
I drove the van around the corner into the dark alleyway. My accomplice was standing in the corner waiting for me, water dripping from his hat. “Jump in,” I said as I opened the passenger door.
“Have you found the crook yet?” asked James as he jumped in.
“No,” I replied while backing out of the alley way. “I still can’t believe he stole it.” All of a sudden something smashed into the van. I looked into the rearview mirror. A small yellow bear with a red shirt was strapping a pack of dynamite to the rear window. Strange thing is once he jumped off he picked up a pot of honey and started walking away as if nothing had happened. All the while I didn’t realize the fuse was still burning. Luckily, James pulled me out of the car just as the dynamite started to explode. We ducked behind a garbage dumpster as debris flew all around us. “Who was that?” I asked James.
“It was the Pooh Bear,” said James in a gravelly voice, “One of the deadliest assassins around.” He walked over to place where the car had been parked. There on the ground scratched into the pavement we found the words “Barney sends his regards”.
“Hey do you think that the fuzzy, purple dunce cone I found the other day was actually Barney’s tail?” I asked James. "Seeing as how there was a tag on the inside that said property of the big purple dinosaur."
“Yeah that’s probably why we were nearly killed,” he replied angrily. “Where did you find it anyways?” James asked.
“Um, I’d prefer not to answer that,” said I. Knowing good and well James would laugh if I told him I got it from a five year old girl who convinced me that it was extremely valuable and I actually bought it from her for five sour gummy worms kids and a lollipop. I mean seriously, sour gummy worms are the bomb and I gave them away for something that nearly got me killed! What I learned that day was never trust a five year old carrying a chainsaw, even if it is plastic.